I'm a Velveeta Virgin

I had my grocery list in hand, neatly clipped coupons, and was merrily pushing my tricky-wheeled cart through the aisles. Next stop "diced tomatoes" for a can of Rotel. If you've never heard of Rotel, don't feel ashamed, because until I moved to Texas I never had either. It's just a brand name for diced tomatoes in a can. Again, ten years in Texas and I'd never bought it, so I had to google it for an image. (You know, so I could have a mental image of what I was looking for at the store...) And there they were on the very bottom shelf for 88 cents a can. Right next to it was the store version for 54 cents a can. Winner, let's get 2 cans!

Moving along up and down the aisles, plucking products from the shelves, and organizing them in my cart for maximum cart space, I come around the corner to the refrigerated cheese aisle. I have a box of Velveeta on my list, which is another product I've never purchased. That's right, I'm a Velveeta Virgin. But I wanted queso and a friend told me to just get a can of Rotel and cube half a box of Velveeta. Melt it in the microwave and you have homemade queso. Easy enough. So I'm looking, looking, now meticulously scanning...where's the Velveeta? Hmm. Ok, let's start again at the beginning of the row. Up, down. No Velveeta there. Checking the middle. Up, down. No Velveeta here. End of the row. Up, down. No Velveeta here either.

A helpful store employee noticed my incessant pacing and asked if I needed help finding something. "Yes ma'am, I can't seem to find the Velveeta. I'm sure it's right in front of me and I'm just not seeing it." She snickered. The helpful employee actually audibly snickered and then replied, "It's not refrigerated. It's over here." "Not refrigerated? But it's cheese." "No ma'am, it's just processed cheese products, it's not really cheese," still snickering and walking me towards a regular store shelf.

It's no wonder with my fake cheese and store brand can of diced tomatoes that the queso was not good. It formed a really thick skin and was not smooth or creamy at all. Anyone want half a box of Velveeta?


Annie said...

Yuck!! I hate Velveeta cheese. I do like it with Rotel, though, and it makes a good queso if done "right"...I've done it and had it, but have no idea why yours didn't work out.

Ms. W said...

I have 1/2 a block in my freezer already, thank you very much. (It was in my recipe for green bean casserole).

Yep... can't beat good non-refrigerated cheese.